I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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