wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
