My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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