I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
