Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
