She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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