I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize