In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
