i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
