I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
home. puking in laundry basket.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
