8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
