He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
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Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
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You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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