I don't usually arrange sex via text message
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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