Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
