real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
