I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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