I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
