I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
