plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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