After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
