I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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