Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Yo dont text me then not text me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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