I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize