another moral hangover. fuck.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize