somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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