i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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