What a fucking waste of an outfit
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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