I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We just shotgunned beers for America
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
