god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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