remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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