1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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