I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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