lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
