So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
