He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
