Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
