I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
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Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
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Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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