I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Say something about gay babies.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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