apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We need to get me chipped asap
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
