"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
