I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
