I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
