how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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