That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
