I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
