That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
