Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
