With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
