dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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