i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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