My Higher Power is John Stamos
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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