I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
