I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
