Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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