Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
