I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my sisters under your porch take her home
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
