i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
