It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
