So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
