Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Actions speak louder than pants.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
