She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We need to rekindle our bromance
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize