I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
