He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
