As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
