i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
