I cannot find my penis.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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