hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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