It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
