you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
